Dumbass kids!

[already7]

Well the girlfriend called a little bit ago and her son is being depressed and must have taken some pills and passed out in the living room. So she calls a help hotline and they tell her that she will have to call back tomorrow. Otherwise she needs to call 911 and let the ambulance come and get him. WTF is the world coming to when you call a help hotline and they tell you to call back tomorrow?????????????????

She said that he was passed out in the living room floor and that his ex girlfriend was there when she got home just watching him to make sure that he was breathing. She said that he had called her and told her that he had taken some pills. But that he didn't tell her exactly what it was or how much. So she went over there and found him passed out. She knew that his mother would be home soon and so she stayed with him and watched after him.

I just called her back and she said that he was snoring. I told her to let him sleep it off and that I would talk to him this weekend. "WE are going to have a GOOD TALK!!!" I am going to be as civil as I possibly can, but I hate to hear my girlfriend cry and sob like a 5 year old that just got a whipping. All because he wants some attention, or because everything isn't going his way. I am also going to inform him that the next time he pulls some shit like this that I am going to get in the truck and come slap him in the fucking head until he wakes up or my hand hurts too bad to hit him anymore. I am really pissed right now because my girlfriend is so upset that she can't even talk on the phone. And he is 23-24 years old, so he knows better than to pull some shit like this. He is just being childish and wanting some attention, but it is really affecting his mother >>> and now I will have to become involved.
His mother said that it would be easier to cope with if he was killed in a car accident or something else, BUT not die right there in her living room from being fucking stupid. That shit right there hurt me all the way down to my heart. It took everything that I had not to get in the truck and drive up there and start kicking ass like Van Dam as soon as I pulled up in the driveway.....
I'm sorry for all the bitching, but I needed to vent a little so I don't get in truck and drive 2 hours and have a major confrontation with her son. I am way too pissed to talk to him right now.

Pray for him,,,,,, pray for me,,,,,, We are both going to need it by the weekend.

[dseward]

Holy cripes man you have your work cut out for you. If you are really serious with this girl get him some help. Hell just tell her to buy him a mustang and all should get better theoretically.

In all seriousness dont bite off more than you can chew and get some professional help for that family.

[Intmdtr]

well i hope all works out dude. i have had to tell a grown up child that there were much more effective ways to kill themselves then to take pills. pills you could just end up like a vegetable.....

[already7]

Well he can't drive anything over a 50cc moped right now because he got a second DWI a few months ago. Now he is having to pay the consequences and not get to drive his car. That is part of the problem, because his mother is trying to help him by not letting him drive his car. She is trying to save him more tickets and getting his car towed. THAT is going to stop this weekend. She is going to give him his keys back and I am going to tell him the consequences of driving without a license, especially if they catch him drinking and driving without a license!!! He only had his license back for 1 month when they caught him this time. He just needs to grow up and see that there is a price to be paid when you do stupid shit. I don't want to see him go to jail and have to sit, and I also don't want him to go to prison,,,, because he is a very small guy and prisons weren't made for people like him! IF you get my drift!

He has a bad drinking problem, but he has to decide that he wants to quit before any rehab or program is going to help him.
When I was addicted to drugs >>> I didn't want any help! When they took my freedom away >>> I made a conscious decision that freedom is a very precious thing and I had taken it for granted!
So I have been down his road, just a different vice, that is all. We are going to have a heart to heart talk and he better damn well be listening. I can't stand to hear my girlfriend cry many more times or we will be going to "fist city!" And he really doesn't want to see the bad side of me. I scare myself sometimes I get so damn mad that I don't give a shit less what happens!

[maxkemp]

Allen, I feel you but can't reach you.

We don't know, nor can we understand all of the circumstances in the lives of those you care for; and I don't want to come off sounding like a tree huger or lets all go green save the whales SOB either because like most of you, my father had me convinced from early on that he brought me in, he could take me out and dump the oil in the back pasture to kill the mosquitoes kind of guy.

First, and you know this, you can't touch him. I know you know that. I know you weren't even thinking about it, just a reminder because of your passion for his mother. Personally, I’d like to take him outside and provide him with lead poisoning. Get my drift? Second, the man is almost in his mid 20's, it's time for him to move on and cut the umbilical cord with his mother. He's no longer a kid, he's an immature man.

My neighbors son is 19 and just moved out. At this point in his life it appears to us the young man really has no future because I've heard almost the same from the neighbors, same story you shared with us, different chapter but, our neighbors son is now working two jobs. One at Sonic and another at a local brand grocery store as a stocker at night. He has no life and I know some drugs are involved when he can manage to pay for them but he’s out of the house.

There is hope for your young man but it's his mother who needs to be firm, and you support her. He must realize there is muscle behind the love she has for her child. If the two adults can't stand united, getting him out of the house will fail. Again, don't know the full story but he's still in her house for a reason.

The thing to remember is someone who takes something like this young man just to get attention is also crying for help. My advice would have been to call the police/ambulance and have him taken to the hospital for a 72-hour mental health hold (evaluation). If he’s just trying to get attention, too bad! If it’s a more serious issue then she has you to help her deal with it. She’s a lucky woman to have someone who cares.

PS:. Get his ass out of the house ASAP. He’s no longer healthy for your girlfriend or her house.

Disclaimer: my wife has knowledge in this area and I asked her to review my comments and your concerns. I need to make this clear, these are only suggestions which I’m sure you’ve considered.

Allen, if you would like to talk about your frustrations feel free to ping me. Wife is on deck. She deals with crap like this every day. She understands behavior, that’s why I’m so well trained!

Much love brother, hope you guys can find peace.

[already7]

Thanks for the words of reason Max. I don't want to ever have a cross word with her son, and yes I know that it would put a huge strain on our relationship if I slapped the shit out of him. Plus it would only make him act out more probably! BUT I STILL WANT TOO!!! Lord forgive me. I will not put a hand on him though unless he gets physical with his mother. Then I would probably only try and get his attention and reassure him that I have got him covered and to just move on.
His mother has a lot more to worry with than some silly little shit like this. I am glad that he didn't kill himself, but he is going to have to understand that he can't do this anymore. No matter what is going on in his life.

Thanks again Max for the words of reason, and also for the offer of help with the wife. That is really awesome of you! Later, Allen.

[91gt347]

Did he take too many to get attention, or has he been taking them and took too many trying to chase that buzz he's never going to get again ? Is he hooked on them I guess is the question. Thats what usually happens. Take some pills....ehh not a good enough buzz. Take some more. Still not good. Then take a couple more. Then Pow your knocked out, sick, or dead. Been there, done that. Like you, I was smart / lucky enough to know when to say when. Whatever the case, good luck man. Talk to him for sure, but only he can make the decision to change.

[CmdrDon]

Allen,

If something like this ever happens again, she really needs to call 911, have an ambulance come pick his ass up and take him to the hospital. When they find out the circumstances, they will undoubtedly have him evaluated by an appropriate facility, who will then recommend that he be committed to a treatment facility for substance abuse.

You may think you're "protecting" him by letting him sleep it off and I can understand that to a point...but with his background he obviously has a serious problem and needs treatment. By letting things like this go, you enable his problem to fester and get worse. This is the voice of experience speaking - if you (or more likely, she) are in a position to "force the issue" and get something done, you really need to do so...he will not change on his own.

[UPRDanielle]

Wow, sorry for the problems with the g/f's son!

Being his age, I am familiar with the message that some kids are getting these days. I agree with maxkemp, tho, he should at least start with a 72hr hospital hold. I seldom drink, and the only drug I have ever done was weed, so I can't say 'I know from experience'...but I have quite a few friends who have or have had a drinking or drug problem. I do agree, you really have to want to quit...a kid I went to high school with flipped his mud truck while he was drunk, was ejected, and in the hospital for months recovering from breaking both arms and legs, cracked skull, etc etc. He would rant in the hospital about how he was DONE drinking (even tho he was only about 16 or 17 at the time), but right when he got out he was right back to it.

Personally I think with the right motivation from friends and family, maybe he'll come to his senses. But honestly, seems like the age of maturity keeps getting older and older...heck, when I tell people my age and business plans, they get very wide eyed and surprised. He needs to learn (somehow) to gain responsibility and learn that he is not going to be a teenager for his whole life and have someone help him out every time he gets in trouble with the law.

Good luck with this kid...seems like you really care!

[already7]

Thanks again everyone for the support and words of wisdom.

Talked to her this morning and she said that he got up and acted like nothing was wrong. He said that he took some sleeping pills to help him rest better, BUT I am sure that he was probably drunk when he took them and we all know that is a BAD COMBO!!! So I am going to have a little sit down with him and express my dislike for his bad decisions and the company that he has been keeping. I also told his mother that it is a good idea to reinstate her rule of him not having any friends out at her house. He has been getting a little bolder here lately and I know that he has been smoking a little weed at her house. I told her today that shit had to stop. That if he wants to do any kind of drugs then he needs to go somewhere else and NOT bring ANY kind of drugs to her house. I am on Parole for a long time to come and I don't need any kind of bullshit of his getting me into trouble. If the law showed up at her house and found something, and he didn't man up and claim, then they would charge all of us with it and while he may get some probation >>> I will get sent back to Prison. I have done my time in there and they have gotten the last free labor out of my ass till the end of time. I have been doing everything humanly possible to better my life since I got out. I went to work 18 days after being released. I got accepted into Union Plumbing school 4 months after I got out and I keep my nose squeaky clean. And I am not taking any chances at all with anyone, anywhere or anything jeopardizing my freedom.

Yes Danielle I care for him a lot. He is a good kid at heart! And he has so much potential at being more than a cook at the local Catfish hole. But he is like a lot of kids today, and they figure that they can screw around for a few years and then get serious about a career. I did the same damn thing when I was young. It has bitten me in the ass now though and I am in Plumbing school at age 39 trying to make a decent life for myself and have a retirement plan to fall back on so I don't have to work till I die!